Pete Walker Book Club

• Pete Walker Book Club

• There’s a lot of content here but because of the nature of cPTSD we have to be very mindful to keep this a safe place. So please be aware of the guidelines for your safety and others.
• These guidelines were put together with many years experience of peer led support groups. If you are not sure please ask someone. There’s usually a reason why there is a rule or guideline.
• This group is a recovery and healing focused group as opposed to simply a connection or support group (See FAQ 8).
• This group is a grassroots community led group and not a mental-health professional led group.
• There is zero cost involved.
• Anybody hosting or involved in this group is a volunteer.
• You do not have to attend the zoom meetings to be part of the WhatsApp community.
• This group is for adults only. We are not equipped to support children.

FAQ

Why was my comment deleted?

Content moderation can feel really unfair and personal but please be assured it’s not. We have rules about what can be posted in various groups to help keep ALL of us safe.

An issue with trauma is that we can often be dysregulated and part of that dysregulation is that we trauma dump. www.talkspace.com/blog/trauma-dumping/

“This can lead to impulsively seeking out anyone who’ll listen, regardless of whether or not they’re equipped to deal with your emotional outpouring.”

Often when we trauma dump we aren’t actually looking for guidance or specific advice on recovery and healing. Dumping is a maladaptive coping mechanism.

You may feel that you need to say the things you say because you can’t bear not to, but we have to be mindful that in this group we are trying to heal and that not everyone has the capacity to hear your emotional pain at this stage in their own healing journey. This doesn’t mean we are saying there is something wrong with you. We are simply not the right space to hold it. There are other spaces that can hold it but this is not it.

Can I message someone via DM?

As this is WhatsApp this isn't anonymous (unlike reddit), so it will of course depend on the context. This is of course a group based on cptsd recovery hence people are traumatised and trying to heal. That takes priority and people have a right to feel safe. Some people are happy to connect and others likely won't be.

To that end if you do message someone it's worth prefacing it with a genuine statement about them having the option to block you or not reply if they don't feel comfortable. It helps keep the group safe and also gives people autonomy.

We do have guidelines that if someone doesn't feel safe that they can let an admin know.

We're generally quite strict on what is allowed here because it helps keep everyone safe and means that recovery maintains the focus. But we aren't Reddit where mods delete everything on a whim. But people can be vulnerable and you might not know that and an unsolicited direct message might not be OK for them. Hence us recommending the preface so that even if it's not welcome they still feel comfortable as a group member because they don't feel like they HAVE to reply to fit into the group. Harassment is an immediate ban of course.

What is this group about and how did it start?

This group started on 9th November 2023 out of the r/cptsd subreddit as a small book club covering Pete Walker’s book “Surviving to Thriving.” As more and more people joined and asked for subgroups to be created we became a cPTSD community.

I really want to give back, how can I do that?

If you'd be interested in hosting one of our 1h zoom meetings let us know. There is a guide and we will support you as much as possible. You could also join the “cptsd.wiki” subgroup or become an admin for the community. But the best way to give back is to get involved and support others, like their comments, and give them good recovery focused feedback.

Is this book club approved/connected to Pete Walker the author?

No. But we let him know about it and he’s supportive of what we do. In fact he gave us some advice.

“Hi, Thank you so much for your email and generous, uplifting and validating feedback. I’m so pleased my book has helped you so much, and I’m delighted that you have set up a subreddit about it. Thank you and I wish you and the members much benefit and healing from participating in it. I’m so sorry but I do not have any availability in the foreseeable future because I am already maxxed out on my time committments. I wish I could visit the group but I just do not have the time. And, Thanks again! Also, many, many survivors tell me that my book: COMPLEX PTSD: FROM SURVIVING TO THRIVING [see link below] reads and feels like a Guidebook for Recovery, giving them a sense of hope, relief and direction in their recovery efforts... especially when they do a lot of underlining, make notes in the margins, dog-ear favorite pages, and work with the Inner Critic Steps [Toolbox 3] and Flashback Management Steps {Toolbox 6] in the back of the book...and then reread it, or parts of it, from time to time. Kind regards, Pete Pete Walker, M.A., LMFT www.pete-walker.com”

How do you stop vulnerable people being approached by predators?

We simply can’t. We have a rule that no offender type personality can join, but the ultimately responsibility of your safety is with you. If you feel uncomfortable, at any time, you can let an admin know or block the person. If you are particularly vulnerable it’s recommended that you do not join this group at the moment. If you feel less vulnerable later on you are always welcome to rejoin. Please be aware that WhatsApp and zoom are not anonymous like Reddit. But because of the lack of anonymity we get to know people as real people and have conversations with them. So there are benefits and drawbacks to various platforms. This group is overwhelmingly safe and we’ve had no issues so far. But we have guidelines and rules for if the worst does happen.

What does “recovery and healing focused group as opposed to simply a connection or support group” mean?

A recovery group is one where the focus is on healing from an illness. As uncomfortable as it is to say not everyone with a specific illness wants to or is ready to heal from it. That’s ok. People are at different stages.This group isn’t a place to only connect with others but to learn and put into action healing strategies. Some groups are only there for people with an illness to connect with one another or to be heard about the struggle of having an illness. The focus of this group is to heal from cPTSD (whatever that individually means for you). We have guidelines about trauma dumping, what can’t be talked about in specific groups, who can and can’t be a member and also we study the book BECAUSE we are recovery focused.

Being a member is a means to an end (namely healing) rather than the end itself. We hope that you join, heal and move on when you’ve done enough healing that you no longer struggle with cPTSD. You might want to stay and give back to the cPTSD community.

For some people reading the above, that might seem impossible or simply not realistic or even triggering. But many people with cPTSD do start healing, then continue to do so and maintain healing to the point of not struggling with the symptoms of cPTSD anymore. Pete Walker says this is the case.

If you find the above difficult to hear then it’s likely that the focus of this group might not be right for you at the moment. But if you’re interested then stick around and ask questions and let’s learn from each other and Pete Walker.

Is this group really free? Who pays for the zoom?

A member donated a pro zoom account for the meeting. Yes we are free. We are free because we understand that having cPTSD doesn’t always allow people to be able to function in ‘normal’ life and have the means to pay for things such as therapy. So this group is free and community led so that we can share resources and help support one another to heal. You can discuss/share paid resources in the group but you are not allowed to sell or promote them.

I've missed too many weeks to catch up on the reading, but can I still attend?

The book will bring up big emotions for people. So rather than reading it in its entirety and then discussing it, we thought we'd break it up into sections for week by week discussion. Each week we stick to 6-9 pages of the book.

Pete Walker said that you can read the book in any order or skip bits that aren't relevant to you. We aim to finish reading the book in 45 weeks and have 7 weeks for any unforeseen circumstances and holidays so that we finish in 1 year. So roughly reading 1 page a day. We hope that is manageable.

Also we figured everyone separately would have a breakdown/emotional flashback while reading it so even if they spent most of the week in dissociation they could catch up if it wasn't too many pages to read on a weekly basis.